Becoming Daddy

I have been asked countless times since I've been married,"so, when are you going to have kids?" The answer has always been,"I don't know." Never really been the type of person who strives towards a conventional lifestyle. Many people I know began having children right away, and for them I am glad. As for myself, I needed some time to do some growing up of my own before raising a child, to experience life with Dorothy without making decisions around a child's needs. Some may say that is a selfish attitude to have...and that is OK; but in my own opinion it was a wise decision.

The reason being is that a child will become the adult that the parents shape that child to be. It doesn't take much to see the influences of parents in the lives of their children. Sure the child will grow up to make his/her own decisions, but at the root lies the foundations laid down by those who raised him/her. My ideas about how I will influence my child/children has drastically changed since I was married at age 20... and for the better I do believe. Because now I understand how a father should love. I have experienced it in my relationship with Christ. All of the horrible offences I have and continue to make toward Him are overshadowed by His willingness to accept me as I am. There is nothing I can do; no deed good enough, no prayer long enough and no sacrifice large enough to ever make Him love me more than He does right now in this moment. All I can do is accept that love. And that is All I ever want from my child/children, to accept and know that he/she is loved in that same way. And I know how to love like that, because that kind of love resides in me.